


all she ever had

by koyukki



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst, sort of??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2484905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koyukki/pseuds/koyukki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kougami was 9 the first time he met her. Akane, on the other side, was literally a baby.</p><p>Prompt on childhood friends AU, slightly inspired by "Shadows" by amuk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all she ever had

1.

Kougami was 9 the first time he met her. Akane, on the other side, was literally a baby. When his mother introduced her to him, he can see where this is going already. And no, he doesn’t like the idea of him having to babysit a baby, so he tried to avoid his inevitable duty by making himself seemed uninterested in it: when his mother asking his opinion, he shrugged, muttered “Not that cute… I guess” and then ran away.

On the next day, he’s trapped with her.

 

 

 

2.

Akane is still a baby when Kougami was 10. He finally becomes fond of her and doesn’t avoid his “job” like how he was used to; even when his mother doesn’t took him there, he’ll visit her himself. He thinks her like his own little sister.

He still denied the fact that babies are cute. Especially her.

 

 

 

4.

Being a 4 years old seemed fun, or so Kougami thought. When Akane was 4, all she did is sit around the house, watch kids show in the morning and played by herself until he’s home. Then, sometimes, while doing his homework, he’ll play with her. Kougami may be 12, busy with homework and tests, as well as club activities, but she is still important to him.

He still bothers to visit her and play with her.

 

 

 

6.

Boy, entering school is nerve-wracking. That’s for Kougami. And Akane’s mother. Entering school is fun for Akane. He was glad the entrance ceremony ended well, she is cute in uniform, and she seemed to be liking school. Kougami is 14, the captain of his school’s judo club, and almost like a nervous mother. Meanwhile, Akane eats sweets, greets other students around her, talks to them and paved a way into the social life.

He’s pretty sure she’ll have a brilliant social life in the future.

 

 

 

8.

Kougami is very determined to make Akane the best in her class: he will try to visit her anytime he can and help her with her studies. She doesn’t mind this because she thinks him as a big brother and boy, she enjoys annoying him. On the other side, he can’t help but letting her annoy him _—_ though sometimes he’ll tease her back. Kougami is 16, a top student and the student council’s president, also almost like a busy housewife teaching her daughter.

Kougami is very serious during their study session while Akane eats pocky and offers him some.

 

 

 

9.

Akane doesn’t get sick easily. And when she does, it could get worse enough to the point she can’t leave her bed for a week. When she was 9, she happened to be sick before her birthday, and unable to eat sweets or anything delicious in general makes her really sad. On her birthday it does get better, but Kougami doesn’t come visit her at all. She pouted. At night, she heard someone knocking on her window _—_ it was him _—_ , and he pulled her and they sneaked out together to see meteor shower.

The sky is so pretty, and it was one of the best day of her life.

 

 

 

10.

Last time Akane saw him was when she’s 10. She might be young, but that doesn’t matter because she likes to play with him and she likes him teaching her and she likes joking around with him and more importantly—she likes him a lot. He’s already like a big brother to her. So when no one explains it to her, she was mad. And when his mother finally willing to explain to her: he’s interested in entering MWPSB. Little Akane barely understands that. All she knows, all she understands, is that he grows up, he’s old ( _"old man Shinya"_ , she muttered), and he’s leaving her alone.

She feels betrayed.

 

 

 

14.

Akane slowly grows up and learns about him and where did he go. She learns to nod to what everything everyone told her, a stack of lies that would never end, and she’s already tired with all of it. Especially of the never old “He’s busy now”. She knew that 2 years ago he was accepted and the job somehow _—somehow_ , she laughed—keeps piling up and keeping him busy, so he can’t come back to visit her. By now she already knew that students in the academy are allowed to go home during holidays, and she knew that he must’ve at least come back once. Even if he’s really busy, why he doesn’t bother to visit her during that 2 years? It was as if he’s avoiding her on purpose ( _"But, for what reason?"—_ a small part of her trying to deny it). All she felt now is that she’s annoyed at him for not coming back and prepared to yell at him when he finally does.

_((He doesn’t.))_

Akane is 14, she’s annoyed at him and missed him a lot.

 

 

 

17.

It took her another 3 years to finally accept that whatever his job is, whatever his reason is, he’s just too “busy” to come back, and she simply accepts that. Maybe he already abandoned her. Maybe he hasn’t. She doesn’t care. Akane is 16, a high school student, tops her class and still missed him. And still trying to get him out of her mind. As well as stopping herself from imagining how he’d look like by now.

On a certain day, she heard about an incredibly horrendous murder from the news, and that makes her uncomfortable. She turned off the TV and covers her head using pillow for the rest of the night.

By the next morning, every news about it disappeared as if it never happened.

 

 

 

18.

Akane could becomes anything she want to, she could work anywhere she want to, and she knows this better than anyone else. She’s 18 now, she’s still annoyed at him and missed him, and the thought of joining MWPSB _did_ cross her mind ( _"Once, only once,"_ she denies). It was too tempting. But she then decides that working with that kind of reason was too shallow, and it probably won’t worth it—sacrificing her future, her happiness, just to met a guy who left her off just like that.

And there she is, a few months later, wearing the academy’s uniform. At least this time, with a less shallow reason compared to meeting him again.

 

 

 

20.

Akane is 20 when she met him again.

He’s a latent criminal.

 

 

 

20.??

The first time she finally met him again after 10 years happen right to be on her first day at work. Akane pretends to know nothing and focuses on her job, but it bothers her a lot—what could possibly happen to him? But she kept her mouth shut and that continues until he disappeared.

Akane is 20, just another normal person, an inspector at MWPSB and she lost him, once again.

Kougami is 28, a latent criminal, an enforcer at MWPSB and he lost her, once again.

_((Akane sighed, took a deep breath and forced every bits of herself to stand up.))_

 

 

 

20.??

Last time Akane grieved this much was when she’s 10. At that time, she only lost him, and actually, he just simply moved away. Now Akane is 20, she lost 4 people dear to her in life. While she couldn’t possibly reach the other 3, the one she lost once again leaving her _again —maybe this time permanently_ _—_ somewhere far away, too far from her side, from her sight, from her reach. She can’t reach him anymore now, she can do nothing about that, she’s useless, useless, _useless_. He’s beyond saving now.

_(Why you keep leaving me alone like that, although you told me that I was important to you? Is this just another cruel joke of yours?)_ She forced herself to smiled _—_ bitterly _—_ at the night sky, at the sky above Tokyo, at a realization.

Now Akane finally realized that they live in two different world. Both literally and metaphorically.

 

 

 

20.??

Took her a while, but she doesn’t leave, she doesn’t stop, she doesn’t give up. She stays at MWPSB.

_((By this point, she knows better than anyone else that there’s nothing left of her but her job. She really has nothing left.))_

The thought alone hurts her already.

 

 

 

20.??

Sometimes, she’d look up, and wonder, is he looking at the sky too? And she knows that the sky they see will always the same, but from where they see it is not.

 

 

 

21.5

Akane lost the smile on her lips, the innocence on her face, and every bits of softness in her heart. She grows stronger, some may think, but she thinks she’s turning her head away from reality. And none of her old co-workers are fond of this, yet nothing was said. They’re grieving too.

She could hear ghosts whispering around. Two to her during work, during the day, saying calming and cheering and uplifting words she can never reply to. One when she’s at home, at night, filled with anger and regret and questions she can never answer. And then, another one, who doesn’t whisper at all. She decides that it was so much easier for her to be like that: to have only 3 ghosts tailing her around and whispering to her. Because her burdens are heavy enough and his whispers would only weighs her down even more.

She saw him again and she nearly breaks down.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time publishing something I write, so I'm really nervous right now. I really enjoyed writing this because the process was pretty smooth, and I think it wasn't that bad for my first time. By the way, English is not my first language, so I apologize for errors here and there. Constructive critics are highly appreciated, and thank you for reading!
> 
> 21.5 is slightly inspired by "Shadows" by amuk.


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